Jake (Guy on the left): (Encouragingly) Come on big guy, you’re almost there! Drink up!
Sam (Fat guy): (Lets out a satisfied groan)
A.J. (Guy on the right): Jeez Jake, he’s more than doubled in size, I’ve never seen anyone that large! I can’t believe he’s still going!
Jake: That’s cause he doesn’t realize how big he’s gotten.
A.J.: What’s that suppose to mean?
Jake: I hypnotized him before you got here, so he only believes and does whatever I say. And right now he still thinks he’s all slim and trim, but he's hungry as f*ck! Ain’t that right Samy-boy?
Sam: (Mumbles in agreement)
A.J.: Huh. I can’t believe that sort of stuff really works.
Jake: You’d be surprised.
A.J.: Anyways, maybe we oughta finish up and get him dressed. Football practice starts in 10 minutes, and it’s definitely gona take us a while to squeeze him back into his football uniform now that he’s this huge!
Jake: Aw come on A.J., who cares if we’re a bit late? That bench he’s sitting on looks like it’s about to give in any second now. One more tub and he'll be so huge, he’s bound to break it!
A.J.: (Chuckles) You’re really into this, aren’t you Jake. Why do you even want him so big anyways?
Jake: 'Cause he called me fat.
A.J.: (Laughs) Is that it? I thought it was some kind of fetish or something.
Jake: Shut up and bring me another tub.
A.J.: (Jokingly) He’s kinda right you know. You are looking a little pudgier this season.
Jake: Careful what you say there, fatty.
A.J.: (Walking over to the other tubs of lard) Hey who callin’ a fatty? I’m the only one with abs here!
Jake: …Who says I didn’t hypnotize you too? Maybe you just think you’re skinny, but you’re actually even bigger than Sam.
A.J.: Stop joking around Jake, that isn't funny. (Grabs a tub of lard) Huh? This one’s empty. (Looks back at Jake) I coulda swore he only drank one tub.
Jake: (Lifts an eyebrow and smirks devilishly at A.J.)
A.J.: …You’re kidding.
Jake: Maybe. Maybe not. You did call me fat though.
A.J.: Dude this isn’t funny. Am I huge right now or not!?
Jake: Why don’t you come sit down on the bench with Sam and find out? There’s plenty of lard to go around!
**Request Page Link: Request Page!
**Made some very small modifications to the sketch and fixed up the story a bit. Also sorry it's late. This week was insane for me, didn't get a single chance to draw all week. I had to rush to get the entire sketch done last night!
Rick (guy on the left) had been working for a small construction company for many years. One morning, he overheard a loud telephone conversation from a nearby cubicle between his boss and a structural engineer who was in charge of designing an important project they were working on:
Boss: Oh, it's you. What is it dis time?
Boss: You want us to do what!?
At that moment, Patrick, Rick's colleague with whom he shared a tiny cubicle, returned to his desk with a stack of donut boxes in hand.
Patrick: Here you go pal, got you a couple boxes full of your favorites.
Rick: Thanks Pat, I was starving!
Boss: (Still yelling so loudly over the phone that the entire floor could hear him) Change all da beams? But we just finished installing dem!
Patrick: What's he yelling about?
Rick: It's about that big project. I think the engineers made some new changes to the design.
Patrick: (Mouth full of donuts) Again?
Boss: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ENGINEERS UNDERESTIMATED THE LOADS!?
Engineer: Ermm... Well, it's just that we didn't expect the construction crew to be so... heavy.
Boss: (Angry, slams the phone)
By that point, Rick had almost finished his first box of donuts. As he reached over to grab another one, his boss made a message on the intercom.
Boss: Attention! Due to a recent development in our most important project, dere will be a mandatory weigh in tomorrow morning. All construction staff are requested to be present!!
Rick, who was about to take a bite of the last donut from the first box, paused and looks down at his belly.
Rick: ...Hey Patrick. How long have you and I been working here?
Patrick: Um, since we were 23?
Rick: So like, 10 years?
Patrick: Something like that. Why?
Rick: Do you think that, maybe... we're getting fat?
Patrick: (Looks down at his belly and grabs it with both arms) ...Nahh!
Rick: I don't know man, I feel like maybe we should ease up on the donuts.
Patrick: Aww lighten up Rick, you look fine! Now quit worrying and grab another box!
Rick: ....Well, maybe just one more box...